Many of the feminist blogs have been responding to this wonderfully funny piece in the Onion: "I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!"

"I know, I know, I've heard all the arguments: Abortion stops a beating heart. It's a child, not a choice. Every life is precious. Well, I don't care what the pro-lifers say... I am totally psyched for this abortion!

At least one anti-choice blogger didn't really figure out that it was satire. This statement in the Onion article asks us to think about the relationship between unwanted pregnancy and the restrictions placed on oral contraceptives: "If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place." Not to be slowed down by reflection, reason, or an appreciation of fine satire, the right wing blogger replies, "Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married." Sometimes I can't tell which is worse: having an abortion or having sex.

But why is it that these anti-choice wingnuts can't recognize even the most obvious attempts at humor? Even if you don't think it is funny, you should at least be able to see that it is meant to be satire. Perhaps the same sloppy neural wiring that prohibits the appreciation of subtle reasoning and complex value systems also struggles with subtles required by some forms of humor. Anyway, even though the point of the satire is revealed to him (I love this comment on the blog: "I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?"), the anti-choice wingnut follows up with a defense of his original entry. Yes, it's a joke; but for God's sake, you shouldn't have put Prince Albert in the can in the first place!

The rest of the Onion article follows.

Like I said, my decision to terminate my pregnancy isn't for lack of hearing the opposing view. I'm exposed to pro-life messages all the time--on billboards, in magazines and on television. And I certainly didn't miss that angry crowd of picketers shouting at me as I was happily skipping to the women's health clinic to make the appointment for my big day. Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!

As I pushed my way through the crowd, one of the picketers yelled, "How could you do this? How could you kill a child?" What? It's more like, "How could I wait this long?" It wasn't until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support. I tell you, for a long time, I thought it would never happen to me!

So, to all of you pro-lifers who are trying to rain on my parade, keep it to yourself, because I don't have the time for that kind of negativity. I've got an abortion to plan, and I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!

The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place. Then what would I be doing a week from Thursday? I'll tell you what I wouldn't be doing: going to an awesome abortion clinic where I'll be the center of attention from the minute I put my feet up in those stirrups. I wouldn't be looking forward to induced dilation of my cervical opening and suctioning of my uterus, either. And I sure as heck wouldn't get the chance to have a doctor insert a metal instrument into my womb to dislodge tissue from my uterine wall!

I seriously cannot wait for all the hemorrhaging and the uterine contractions. This abortion is going to be so amazing. I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, family and co-workers. What an easy decision this was!

I realize there are people who will criticize me, calling me selfish and immature because I took "the easy way out." I realize there are those who will condemn me to hell for what I'm about to do. Well, I don't care what they say: It's worth it for all the fun and laughs I'm going to have at the clinic. So listen up, world: I'm pro-abortion... and I love it! See you at my post-abortion party, everybody!